Through Rose Colored Glasses

I have been putting off this post because I have had a hard time deciding how to express my feelings about it.  Emotions are sometimes hard to capture with words.  Even now as I write this I find myself staring at the computer screen waiting for the perfect words to appear.

We have had a very emotional few weeks.  On Clara's birthday we noticed something not quite right with Ian's eyes.  I think throughout that day I saw little hints of it but ignored it.  It actually took my brother coming to me and quietly pointing out "Lianne, Ian's eyes are doing that thing yours used to do when you were little."

Yes, my eyes were 'not quite right' when I was little too.  That fact actually makes the whole situation more difficult and emotional for me.

The correct term is accommodative esotropia and is commonly  referred to as a lazy eye.  I suppose up to this point we have been blessed because our children have had no problems.  I don't know if every one of those 'imperfections' hits you as hard as the first one.  But this first one was difficult.

My baby's body is not perfect, and I gave him that imperfection.  How will it affect his life?  Will this be difficult for him? Will I be able to help him?  A 2 year old baby shouldn't have to deal with something like this yet!

Like I said earlier, we noticed it the night of Clara's birthday, a Monday, and by Tuesday I had called a Children's Opthamologist and made an appointment for Wednesday morning.  I can't express to you how painful it was to look at  those beautiful little eyes all of Tuesday and not be able to tell where he was looking.

The prognosis from the doctor was about what I expected.  Glasses.  Hopefully they'll solve the problem for him.  If they don't then we have to use eye patches and drops and maybe even surgery.  I did grow out of it by the time I was 18 without surgery, and Ian probably will too.  Hopefully it will be a smooth process.  I have negative feelings about my childhood with glasses.  Of course, the glasses I had were a lot bigger framed and thicker lensed than they are these days.  And I was an extremely shy child.  I know that just because that was my experience doesn't mean Ian's will be the same . . . but it is hard not to worry about him.

The wonderful thing is that Ian is adjusting so well!  He is pretty good about keeping them on ~ but when he wants a break I give him one.  I don't want him to hate his glasses because I keep pushing them on him.  He is such a happy little guy and having glasses hasn't changed that at all! And he really does look cute in them :)

I have faith that this is something that Ian can handle and will help to shape him into the individual Heavenly Father wants him to be.  Thank you to all of my family and friends who have been so positive and encouraging and tell my little guy how cute he is in his new glasses!  It has meant a lot to me.